So I found Doug Dimmadome at Dragon Con
When he was 2 years old, he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull
When he was 6 years old, he mistakenly drank boric acid.
When he was 9 years old, he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg.
When he was 11 years old, he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days.
When he was 14 years old, he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door.
When he was 19 years old, he was struck on the head by a falling brick.
When he was 23 years old, he almost died from the effects of tainted wine.
When he was 29 years old, Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.
clearly someone didn’t want that saxophone invented
THIS NEEDS TO BE A 300-PAGE SCI-FI NOVEL BECAUSE I WOULD READ THE HELL OUTTA THAT
also kids shouldnt be scared of their parents. theres a difference between “im not gonna do this bad thing because i respect my parents and i dont want to disappoint them” and “im not gonna do this bad thing because im scared of what my parents will do to me if i do”
if you want to ask a bisexual or asexual person about their sexual history to verify that they’re queer, but you don’t want them to take it the wrong way, try this useful communication technique:
give them twenty dollars and go away.